I was the girl who unabashedly shared pro-life Facebook posts, plastered a pro-life bumper sticker on my car, and never missed the annual March for Life. I was also the girl who could not understand how anyone could see a baby as anything more than a blessing, nor fathom why someone would not be excited at the prospect of bringing a baby into the world.
That all changed when I was faced with an unplanned pregnancy.
A Dark Time
When I found out I was pregnant in June 2021, I was struggling through the darkest period of my life.
I was frequently having PTSD-related panic attacks, my marriage was on the brink of ending, and I was so cripplingly depressed that I could barely take care of myself. To further complicate matters, I was going into my last year of law school and spending that summer doing a legal fellowship at a pro-life law firm in D.C..
Rather than the excitement I had always dreamed about feeling upon finding out I was pregnant, I was racked with doubt, anger, fear, and worry. How was I going to finish law school with a newborn baby? How could I care for a baby when I could barely care for myself? How would I handle custody and joint parenting if my marriage ended? How could I bring a baby into such a terrible situation?
I carried around tremendous guilt as I secretly wondered whether it would be better for both my unborn child and me if my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.
As the pregnancy progressed, even as I felt glimpses of excitement about meeting my son, worry and guilt still enveloped me. I felt like a hypocrite because I did not want to be pregnant, and I was so angry that my dream of being a mom was being fulfilled at the most inopportune time.
However, through seeing tiny fingers on the ultrasound screen, feeling excited little kicks when I ate ice cream, and meeting my newborn son, I came to understand what it truly means to be pro-life. It isn’t about the bumper stickers or Dr. Seuss slogans or marching in the street. It is a choice—an intentional choice—every day, to value and preserve the life of the most innocent and vulnerable.
I may not know what life holds for me or how it will all work out. But I do know that my son holds limitless potential to impact the world for the better because he has done so for my world.
My Life Today
A few months ago, I graduated law school with my husband and beautiful son Theo at my side. Theo has brought so much happiness into a life that I thought was destined to be in miserable shambles forever. He has given me a greater sense of purpose and his smile reminds me on a daily basis just how precious life is.
I still share pro-life posts, drive with my pro-life bumper sticker, and plan to attend next year’s March for Life.
Only now I do these things with a different perspective.
I understand just how scary unplanned pregnancies are. I understand how desperate a woman can feel in that terrifying and uncertain situation. I understand that not wanting to bring a child into the world is not a selfish sentiment. But I also understand how strong women are and how much joy a baby can bring to someone’s life.
My Message to Those Struggling
My message to anyone struggling with and scared because of an unplanned pregnancy is this:
You are not alone and you are so much stronger than you ever could have imagined. Your life is not over and your dreams are not ruined. You have an amazing opportunity to experience just how strong you are, and your life will be bettered by the new life that you bring into it. Even the darkest of worlds is made brighter by the gift of a new life.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, reach out. You’re not alone. If you would like to support women and babies in need and join the pro-life cause, become a donor today.