“I’ve learned life is a gift. Not just for the unborn but for all of us. We have to treat those we interact with better, and that starts especially with our own children.”
Trouble Early on
Abigail, like many people, has struggled with depression on and off, through many trials in her life. As a young child, she was sexually abused by a family member. Because of this and how the situation was treated, as a teen, she had suicidal thoughts from time to time along with regular depression. In 2014, Abigail came home from college determined to prosecute the family member who abused her as a child. To her devastation, the investigative detective for the county told her that her word against his would do nothing.
Feeling defeated, she retreated into a dark and dangerous place. Luckily, she shared her thoughts of committing suicide and making it look like an accident with her sister. Her sister immediately made Abigail move in with her. After therapy and lifestyle changes, Abigail improved immensely.
Good Times between Bad Times
She met the love of her life, whom she then married in 2016. In 2019, just before welcoming her first child, depression hit again. With help and therapy, she made it through the birth and postpartum phases. Motherhood has been a great challenge for Abigail, but it has also brought her new joy.
She and her husband decided they wanted their kids close together, so before her daughter turned one, Abigail became pregnant again. It began an exciting time, they were having a beautiful new home built and expecting a boy.
Of course, parenting a young sweet but very stubborn little girl and being pregnant was challenging enough, but this time quickly became a new low point in her life. While waiting for their home to be built, they decided to move in with Abigail's husband's sister's family.
Right away, she knew it was a mistake.
Almost immediately, her sister-in-law made life miserable for Abigail. Verbal abuse ensued, among many other things.
She felt trapped and started to imagine taking her life. Two weeks before her son would be born, Abigail hit rock bottom. She remembers sitting down and making a plan in her head to end her life once her husband got home and could watch their daughter.
An Unexpected Realization
Her mind was made up until something unexpected happened to her. While singing songs to her daughter, Abigail says, “A peace and calm came over me, I’d always had the thought through my pregnancy whenever it was difficult in my life that I couldn’t hurt myself because I was pregnant. But then it really came to me while I was singing to my daughter, the thought of, you can’t end your life because of this other life. His life is precious, and it’s been given to me; how could I end his life too because I was sad?
“I was being so badly mistreated by my extended family, and that made me realize I hated being treated badly. How can I treat this baby as less than a person just because I’m hurt and life feels painful? I don’t want to have anyone hurt because of me, because people deserve to live and feel love and respect.”
The intense reality of the humanity of her pre-born baby gave her pause. Singing songs to calm her daughter calmed Abigail, too. Taking care of daughter and considering the life of her unborn baby helped Abigail divert from disaster.
Though things didn’t immediately get better for Abigail—in fact, they got worse—she was able to push through for her and her children. The next week, her daughter had a seizure, and three days later, her son was born a month early. The stress of living in such a difficult situation put her into early labor.
Coming home from the hospital with a new baby back to the house of her sister-in-law where she was so badly treated felt awful, but the love that comes from a new baby helped some. They stayed another six weeks and then moved to an apartment to await the remainder of their time until their new home was completed. 8 weeks later, they finally entered their new home—and what felt like a new life.
Now, in 2022, she is due with her third baby. This was the first unexpected pregnancy she’s had. The first two were close together on purpose, but she knows three kids under three won’t be easy.
Better than most people, Abigail knows that life will always bring new challenges and pain, yet she has also learned that she can overcome challenging circumstances. Especially for others with similar challenges, she advocates for therapy and mental health.
Abigail is very pro-life, even when circumstances may seem less than ideal for bringing a baby into this world.
What We All Can Learn
Having children is always a challenge, but children are blessings, no matter our circumstances. Those blessings often don't come how we expect them to, either!
Children, after and even before they are born, have the ability to help lift us up and see above the gloom of difficulties. Putting our children first is a win-win.
Help others choose life by supporting our mission; become a donor or get involved today. Or, if you’re pregnant and wondering how you could choose life with your unique circumstances, check out our free resources.